She also has to deal with some sexual difficulties, although I manage ok. Perhaps the answer is not to get as drunk when you are out. I would have to send the message out that this will not be tolerated on me. Don't take what people do when they're drunk as signs of bigger things. I told her no again and again. I refused to answer, so she left a voicemail wondering where I was and why I left without saying goodbye. When I returned to the bedroom, she was barely awake, lying in bed, about to drift off to sleep. I still dont. Or can you trust yourself to not do it again? I only remember flashes of what happened afterwards. female Perhaps the answer is not to get as drunk when you are out. Jane started to touch me even more. Everyone has the right to get drunk without being taken advantage of. find me on and follow me on, tagged in Kids My 23M friend 24f kissed me 1hr ago while she was drunk . I am So, I did what I felt I had to do in order to get out of the situation as fast as I could: I gave her what she wanted. After what seemed like years, I took a shower, dressed myself, and walked to my girlfriends house. no i havent told my girlfriend. I [19/F] got blackout drunk and apparently kissed another I kissed someone while I was pretty drunk. reader, Cerberus_Raphael+, writes (22 November 2010): A I then remember being in the bedroom and her pushing me against the wall while kissing me. I do not know how to respond to that statement. Apparently I kissed another guy before being taken home by my friend - which I only found out the next day.I told my boyfriend what I had done immediately. If you let it go, it shows to him and anyone he knows (ie. Don't do anything, sure this fella was a dirty moron for doing that, but no harm came from it. Here's a little boy who's so insecure in himself he has to beat up someone who kissed him, just to prove that he isn't gay and can't "be taken advantage of". I dont know if anything would have happened, but Id like there to be no more Polaroids in her collection. Some days, I feel trapped with this horrible memory. WebBy the end of the night, we were all extremely drunk the drunkest Ive been in a very long time. Don't get comatose again. For a start there's a severe anti-gay tone to it. I just started drivingno idea where I was going to go. Everyone has the right to get drunk without being taken advantage of. When you look around the culture, you see the idea of a woman forcing a man into sex as either not a bad thingbecause men are always supposed to be ready to goor that its physically impossible. reader, romany+, writes (22 November 2010): A reader, FloridaCatGirl+, writes (22 November 2010): A Would you be looking to kick the crap out of her? If you tell your boyfriend then this might not help the trust issue, however if you dont can you live with holding it back from him? I started having lots of nightmares on the subject, however, and didnt realize it was rape until I tried to argue against someone that it wasnt and realized I couldnt defend my position. Since it was a friends house, I decided to go ahead and fall asleep in the spare bedroom rather than continue drinking and get sick/embarrass myself. She apparently owns the apartment. Put it down to experience and move on mate; in fact congratulate yourself that you are attractive. I still dont know how to classify this. This next reader didnt appear to be drinking a lot that night but was fast asleep when the incident began: I still cant bring myself to use the R word in reference to what happened. You should meet up with him again and finish off the kiss. The best is when sex is part of a broader friendship focused on enjoying time together. He advised me that one of my other friends (a woman) was very mad at me and I should avoid her, since I went home with a stranger the night before, and he had never seen anyone get so drunk from one drink. Two years have gone by, and Ive only told a few select peoplefriends, loversand they have been supportive. Don't have an account? A bloke? I didnt recognize the apartment, or the futon where I was sitting upright, my genitals exposed, my pants around my ankles. Things have gotten better now. Eventually I find them and put them on, but they do nothing to remove the blurriness from my perception. Oh ffs, helpful replies only please Pigman and zabbo. If a guy you like kissed you while he was drunk does he likes you Unfortunately, I dont remember much of it, but I will do my best. Yes, I know that drunken one-night stands happen. It was Thursday night, and a few friends and I went there because I didnt have to go into school until very late on Friday. The friend never showed, but another mutual friend did. Six beers, and then to the other pub. One writes: My first sexual experience was rape, in the sense that I was coerced and given drugs and alcohol. That a late-20s male whos over 65 could be taken advantage of seems absurd. To make matters worse, when we had first started dating a guy got really aggressive and kissed me while I was also blackout drunk.Alcohol is NEVER an excuse, and this experience has made me realize I need to stop drinking altogether. Only my wife knows and sympathizes. I went inside and sat down for an hour. At first, I didnt want to respond. The whole experience was extremely unsettling, not least because I contracted a rather painful yeast infection from her, and visited several doctors who all told me I didnt have an STD (VD, in those days). I met Jane (not her real name) around 2012 on a dating site. i can't believe you ran away from that worthless fag,you really should go back and beat the living sh1t out of him. Once everyone sobers up there's usually much awkwardness and embarrassment. Frankly, it would have been over at some point, but to have it end because of what I did, and didnt even remember, was terrible. NO, you are not a cheater. I really feel like kicking the **** out of him for what he done. I kissed someone while black out drunk - Infidelity - eNotAlone The nightmares never left. As I rolled over, away from her, facing the wall, I closed my eyes and started to feel tears rolling down my cheeks. I was still a little unsteady, so I asked a buddy of mine to come pick me up for class. A woman enters the room after a time. In both cases, they listened attentively, and then responded in almost identical fashion, If you were on top, then it wasnt rape.. Its more likely that I got drunk and wanted it, isnt it? I had just graduated from university and was in a rut. My friend (who knows) tried to wedge herself into the conversation while I took my buddy to the bathroom to fill him in. I got up slowly from the bed, trying to not to wake Jane. It must about been 1am when I slipped into Janes bed. I'll just say this; anyone who believes he has a right to get drunk and pass out, should be big enough to acknowledge that he most likely will do something he isn't proud of, make a fool of himself, put himself in dangerous situations, etc, and when it does happen he should accept it and not then blame others "because he had a right to get drunk and not have **** happen". Around the time I decided to get into bed, I blacked out. Because it was so early, I dont know what to do or who to call. Nothing became clearer. Ive been in horrible and great versions of such an arrangement. But I cant help shake the feeling mentally that, other than her, nobody knows, and nobody would care if they did. I gathered my clothes, went back to the bathroom, got dressed, gathered my luggage from the other room, and left. I dont believe what you are telling me. Ive told some of them about what happened. Quora - A place to share knowledge and better understand the world I suggest worrying less about his behaviour and more about your own. I preface the story with this information to let you know that this is not a clear-cut tale of woman rapes man. It is confused and messy, an experience that cant come down to a simple act of someone else exerting their power over my person. How does a woman rape a man? The whole situation put me in an odd placeemotionally, and at odds with how our culture views men who have been sexually assaulted. Thats when I was started to wake up, realize what was going on, and I told her I was too tired, I needed to sleep. I looked at her as I got back in bed. Copyright 2000- 2023 Boards Software Limited, If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on, Hello all! You likely know him better than anyone so how do you feel he will react? Nothing more. Several readers are touching on that theme. The worst is when sex is all thats there. I added that if she didnt remember what happened, shes a bigger danger to herself and others than I could ever imagine. Two months after this happened, in a fit of severe depression, I called the number my rapist gave me, convinced that she was the only one who would have me now. Its very rare to find a comments section worth reading, and Im sure Im not the only one who has benefited from the myriad perspectives and stories youve published thus far. I just watched her walk out. Here I was with someone who was my friend. We took one of their tables, and we all ordered drinks. As I am filling up a glass, I remember talking with a girl in the kitchen. yin and yang -3 TheGodfajah 10 yr. ago Wait, so was it a kiss or making out? I dropped out of all my social circles, deleted Facebook, and didnt leave the house for about three years. That'll be the best way to get it out of your system. My partnerthe longest relationship I had ever had at that point and a woman whom I loved dearlyhad graduated in the same class but was clearly bound for bigger and better things. If you approach them, there's no denying that you like Whoa! I dont remember details and have no sense of the time involved, what was said, what anything felt like, or even what I did during those images. Also, theres an aspect of feeling like I put myself in a bad situation. If it was a fella doing it to a girl there would be uproar. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? As I said, I was exhausted. DAME: "Tell your girlfriend just to get it off your chest, then try and put it to the back of your mind and get on with your college work.". When I woke up this morning, a friend told me that I kissed some random guy on my team. Was thinking that you were leading up to a drunken kissing incident with a girl not your g/f. I told you NO but, you wouldnt stop.. Take it as it is: they were drunk. Nothing changed. I told her I had cheated. Time didnt seem to move correctly. All I remember of that night beyond that point is a few flashes of an unfamiliar room, and two different women on top of me. male OP personally I know what I would do, I would kick the **** out of him. Eventually, after a long time, it went away on its own, with me completely ignorant of what it was until many years later. She didnt want to hear it. If it was just a drunken kiss and a one time mistake I wouldn't want to know. male My partner doesnt fully believe me either. We often hear comments from people that get echoed in our media questioning the stories of victims or make statements about clothing choices, or other aspects, that these self-appointed authorities believe tempted someone into raping. So, after our friends ended their set I told Jane I was going to head back to her house to sleep. I decided to seek out the services of a psychologist. Join Date: - Posts: 125685 going unreg for obvious reasons. The phone rang again. female But I did. I Kissed Someone Else While I Was Drunk | Relationship Talk I had been drinking prior to the party and so by midnight I was very intoxicated. When he dropped me off at home, he told me to be more careful in the future and drove away. At one point, she grabbed me and started giving me oral. Tell him to shave first tho! She opened the door and I told her that I needed to talk. The dream doesnt end, and thats when I start to be afraid. Environmental Issues, Home Automation & Internet of I told him the whole story. As I expected, I was out by the time my head hit the pillow. Again, I realized I did not want to end up in a hospital and/or a jail cell with only a few hours to go before my flight back home. Unfortunately, the guy bragged to my boyfriend's friends that more happened later - which it did not. Since she was drunk and unstable, I had no idea what she would do given that Jane was not willing to respect my pleading no.. I could get up, get dressed, gather my things, and try to leave. Someone who took something I enjoyed in my life, sex, and turned it into something so horrible and painful. I didnt pick up, so Jane left another message. On the floor were two used condoms that I do not remember even having on. My head hurt worse with every passing minute. I didnt deserve to be treated like this. I remember having my shorts and shirt still on and going into the kitchen. From a guy in his late twenties who got black-out drunk: A few years ago I was at a small party with a few close friends and some other guests. WebSo both me and a girl were drunk (her drunk enough not to remember the next day) I already said it happened while in my hangover the next morning but I feel guilty that we kissed It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name. I dont even remember falling asleep. Who knows what will happen the next time you are passed out drunk. I knew I had to have been drugged, but the concept of being raped by a woman didnt even enter my brain at this point, at least not consciously. We didnt speak for two weeks, and then she called me to tell me it was over. Seems like unnecessary drama. I told her what happened, like I just told you, and thats when my gal pal said that word to me. I agree. Bye! She said that in a cheery, normal, not-hungover-at-all voice and walked out the door. is there any way to Id never do anything to hurt you. Whether that drunk kiss was intentional or unintentional, you are in a relationship Add your answer to this question! No problem, I told her, Ill see you when you get home.. Women have this happen to them all the time. Whether or not he actually likes you you'll have to figure out The relationship obviously began deteriorating at that point, which only further exacerbated my paranoia and despondency. Who knows what will happen the next time you are passed out drunk. Do you think he will try and work through it with you or do you think he will walk? Last week, my friend called me and she was incredibly drunk, so I rushed out to take care of her. My friends are hard-drinking, rambunctious, and crassa personality type that suits me welland were unafraid to get into taboo territory with our conversation. I also fully think I deserve whatever I get, so please refrain from name-calling in your responses.That said, I'd like advice for what to do. Why did I kiss someone else while I was drunk? We neither speak nor acknowledge each other, though my friends are close to her. A few months after moving away, I came back to visit family and friends for about a week. And then I knew that none of this was a dream, and that I had really just done this. But then again, isnt that just another version of blaming the victim? At the same time, because women face the majority of the assaults in our culture, there appears to be a betteralthough far from stellarsupport system in place for our sisters, mothers, and daughters when they become victims. I also know that I did not want this, and that everyone there knew that I had gone to sleep early because I was too drunk. Perhaps if you dont want to throw it all away because of your kids, then your partner might think the same and try to find a way past this with you. Luckily, I had a place to go for my extra day before my rescheduled flight left early Monday morning. My rapist is still in our town, and I see her regularly. When we returned, I finished my drink and ordered a second. I woke up the next morning and couldnt see. reader, Racna1305+, writes (22 November 2010): Already have an account? The majority of talk around men being raped in our culture centers on sexual violence committed by men in positions of power on young boys, like what happened in the Catholic Church. But I remembered a 24-hour diner nearby, so I headed there. I had no shirt on. Its a complicated subjectone that has no easy answers or identifiable parties to blame. My scenario was neither of those. However it is likely that whatever behaviour you were demonstrating the night you kissed another man, you might need to control better or the same could happen again and the trust could be shattered forever. We have sex, again apparently. She tells me that I fell asleep in the middle of it, and so she went to bed after she couldnt wake me. Jane texted apologizing, again, and said she wanted to talk. reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): A reader, BunnyAce+, writes (22 November 2010): A But I was exhausted. Went out last night (thursday) with friends from my course and their I'd tell your girlfriend what happened. Needless to say, my views on sex and intimacy have been cast in the shadow of those early experiences. I'm not advising this or advocating it, it's just how I would react. We were near engagement, so it's a very serious relationship. Should I tell her? After I had finished, he started to counsel me, and it went ok at first. I dont even remember getting the second one. More tears streamed down my face as I buried it in my pillow. After the sun rose, I started calling friends for a place to stay for Sunday night. Do NOT tell your girlfriend - for the love of Science H Logic man, don't tell her!! I tried to rollover and forget what just happened. But, I still cant say it in reference to myself. My boyfriend is away for the summer working, so I called him and told him what Hopefully someone out there can take something valuable from my experiences. Because, it had been a long day of running around town, I met Jane at the bar where a band we both loved, featuring some mutual friends, was playing. I texted Jane back, again, and wrote that she did not deserve to talk to me for what she did. This article previously appeared in a different format as part ofThe AtlanticsNotes section, retired in 2021. reader, YouWish+, writes (22 November 2010): A Retrospectively, that was a bad idea. Like most young people living on their own for the first time, I had a favorite bar with a good price on drinks. Ive never hated anyone so much for what they had done to me. Would you be making such a big deal of this if some random woman did it? Could it be that this guy fancied you, made a move, you chatted back so he continued? It probably took about 20 minutes as I waited to hear the sounds of her soundly sleeping. I guess I refused to see what happened as rape because, like many, that word is reserved for what happens to womenand to be honest its often related to physiology.

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