I am very very jealous at the moment and very angry. Women are not hardwired to seek external validation, you look for the wrong women, Alex (author). Not i have started thinking like i am coming in between of them i should stop talking to her. My WebOk my girlfriend ended up leaving me because of all this she told me that they never talked at all. I think in this case you need to work more on yourself, and just learn to accept it. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 29, 5, 569-596. And dont change for anyone but yourself. Id like to explain more the way Im interpreting what I read but Im kind of sleepy now (Lousy excuse,huh?) not even now looking back on it. Expect a lot more content to come when chapter 2 is complete! ALL women who insist on maintaining close relationships with male friends WILL screw around. I know now that she was not the right woman for me. The way they look at her, the way they laugh at her jokes, the way they playfully tease her Just look closely, youll see it. Does your wife or girlfriend have a lot of male friends that sometimes makes You seem to have a beautiful relationship based on trust and honesty. she never told me this while i was distraught and untrusting of him and let me feel like my jealous rushes of that period were outlandish. Its as simple as that. This article is disgusting. What she gets out of it. When I read your comment I felt like sharing my experience. said it wasnt a big deal cause he was just that way and hit on all the girls in their little comedy troupe until one of them broke and started dating him (he left his girl at the time for this new one) she claimed she.. was initially drawn to him mainly as a friend and was soon put off of it possibly going any further due to him being a player. Like twice. Here are the signs that it's happening to you. WebStrategy 1: The Outer The Outer strategy is simple: try to control everything external to 15. We use thoughts to process information and make decisions, but they aren't fixed aspects of who we are. And now you have a clean slate to work with. Im soooooo glad to find out there are guys who lived through this and theres hope I could find one guy one time who like the original post said Introduces me to female friends Doesnt keep it all shadytalks positively about me to his friends and to ME. Certainly. No, its just an innocent hike, we swear!. But then she calls me and says she is pregnant. While the person in the intimate relationship holds the greatest responsibility for protecting it, both members of the opposite sex friendship can threaten the bond in an intimate relationship. I feel like my feeling are natural in thinking that about other men in her life and I have to respect her boundariesjust to what extent is what Im struggling with. The key concepts to remember here are acceptance, self-confidence and trust. This happened on a Wednesday. Demand that she doesnt see them, check her text messages, listen to her calls. Whatever hes my friend right? We dont like it because its immature, disrespectful and interferes with our developing of something meaningful. But she still continue talking and hang out with th em everyday lately and I just been home doing all her chores like Im the slave of her family. A girlfriend is not a wife. trust me. Its not easy my man, I know your pain. We have to be as hard as rocks as let you do what you want regardless of how it makws us feel?! If there were things he did that uoset her, she should have confronted those and they talk shit out.. My girlfriend seems to love attention from other guys 8. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 205-222. But friends can cause a lot of damage. Two things bother me about her conversation with her male friend, 1)She told him Im having a conversation not Im having a conversation with my b/f but simply having a conversation. So, ladies, let me give you a glance into your boyfriends heart and mind. I lost all respect for her after that, and I could see that she no longer valued me or the relationship. The thing with me is I want my girlfriend all too myself. If you pay close enough attention, youll see it. Once you've found the time, get her alone, trying to be as casual as possible. I cant just try to control her and tell her who she shouldnt be talking to. She use to say she loved me but I feel this was a cover and part of the characteristic of a Narcissist. Doesnt make it less obvious she was starting something with the guy from work and rubbing it in her boyfriends face for thrills and ATTENTION. But I really love her. she introduced him to me saying she thought id like him. No complaining, no insecurity, no screaming. When we met I thought wow, the perfect woman, just fantastic in all ways. There is only 1 solution tell her you are not the type to be with a lady who has male friends of any kind it is destroying all the love and if it continues you will either move on and find someone who will make you happy. And we also let other people see a clear boundary and that we belong to each other. I need out the sooner the better. A real man will not tolerate other thirsty dudes playing the friends card and moving in on the woman they love. It's how he met his girlfriend of three and a half years, Sophie. Women need a wake up call as do some men these friends are often not friends and will manipulate you out of a relationship giveb half the chance. We need to man the hell up and stop taking YOUR GENDERS SH*T. A real man would just point at the door and calmly say Theres the door, get the hell out of here. I feel like Im just not the right guy for her at times. Anyway, the nagging and assumptions and insecurity just made me oppositional this has always been my nature with friends, family, autority figures. Ask what they talk about. How much time do you think Brad Pitt devotes to monitoring the text messages Angelinas sending to that guy editing her latest script? Unless you lock her in a cupboard (holy fuck, please dont), shes going to meet guys just by living her life, and you cant control that. So the simple answer to the above question is an unabashed "no." Lets face it kik is a hookup site. So i said nothing else, i showered after confronting her as i just mentioned, she showered, came to bed and I fucked her silly for hours, knowing for sure she was far more than a friend with this guy. 9. But he's cool with it. Hi.. female here.. ive been reading alot of the comments and i do agree the majority sound like they are not being loyal. You must tell her, New Rules, there is no ifs or buts about this and that no matter what she says or does, there will be no compromise. Tell her why you like her. I had to actually unfriend this person because she just wouldnt let it go. If a woman cant see the value of her man and destroys her relationship for the cheap emotional validations of the baboons around her then she isnt worth shit. So we chatted and I said i had just come back from China, and he said wow, he was seeing a married Chinese woman for months until her husband gave her an ultimatum, stop or get out. Sorry to hear what you went through. If you're in a new relationship, Sussman said it's important to think about how it might affect your friends who you go out with, "wingman" for at bars, and share comradery with as singles. Theres often a reason why men wont hang out with other guys. We both work out religiously and for my age I look pretty damn good. Tell them the truth thats what she expects from me so why not expect the same from her? I still hold a lot of anger from the experience that is slowly subsiding. She was immediately inflammed with anger. Now that she called her friend and told him not to call anymore guess whose the bad guy? I saw this guy and he doesnt look like much, but Im concerned they are going to get very close since shes going to be spending many hours with this guy every week. She was crying to him? Your only option is to give her space. If you feel unappreciated and unhappy, ask yourself why and assess whether the relationship you are in has anything to do with your sadness. EVEN IF SHE SAYS ITS NOT AN OPTION, SHE IS LYING DO NOT EVER LET HER GET AWAY WITH SAYING THAT THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS, THIS IS A LIE. So I am in a similar situation as the first comment given years ago. However, as men and women have more opportunities to interact with one another in workplace and social settings, it is inevitable that people of the opposite sex will find common interest and connection with one another that is likely to evolve into friendship. 4 Things Every Boyfriend Really Needs From Doesnt mean that all men are evil, just that sex heavily influences our behavior, but also women endorse it so its mutual as a means to an end. For 5 months I have been emotionally damaged from my ex girlfriend`s friendships with men. they know its danger to a relationship to have male friends. 7. What i cant handle is my girlfriend going out with her male friends and they drink and dance. Also tell her that youve just realized you can be another girls boyfriend who would never do 1% of the things she has done to you, and that you will either choose this new girl (which you havent done anything with) or her and that its totally up to her. Private correspondence between the two of you. If you want to contribute to this discussion, think and maybe well talk. I think there is a third aspect to the inner theory that wasnt mentioned. Ok, we need to change this narrative. Care for her, she knows you dont like it show her your seriouse with even more love, leave messages be romantic and then make love without any word of this male friends name. So just inputting my situation here after reading the comments. She mentioned. If she expects you to keep your female friends at bay and close them off, then you must demand the same thing of her, and she cannot have it any other way, what is this nonsense of her hanging out with other men and having all these male friends? And she may want to turn your relationship from best friends to lovers. Cause believe me. In short: youre being clowned. You want to set this up so that once you tell her, it all falls into place for her in her head and she is 100% convinced. My girlfriend Behavior #3: They Feel That Posting On Social Media Will Boost Their Self-Esteem. Neither side is black or white.. How To Deal With Your Girlfriends Male Friends These relationships dont generally pose problems unless one or both parties in the friendship are in an exclusive intimate relationship with someone else. My Posted December 16, 2019 But for the life of me, I cannot understand her actions now since we separated, well her obvious cheating when we were together is a bit perplexing also. Ultimately, Im not interested in any girl who is willing to keep her options open, and I am not interested in any girl who is willing to take the risk of falling in love with another guy by getting close to them outside the normal boundaries. Selfish, elusive, attention addicted, incapable of intimacy. he said she made him promise he wouldnt tell me she had spoke to him of this. All that said, there are indeed situations where its ok for her to hang out with a guy. Any questions, just ask me. After you realize a girl is not relationship material, just fuck her as much as you can so shes at least useful for something. Having said that and given the understanding I got from everything Ive read from you I believe its a matter on focussing on what youre contributing to the situation,right? Are My Girlfriends Male Friendships Inappropriate? - YouTube He tried to pull a move on me.. but i shot him down. 1. For starters, realize that youre far from alone and that every girl has at leastsomeguy friends you probably have a couple of female friends as well. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 329-348. to our babes at the time shed a couple times she referred to him as uncle phillip and she instigated my and him being friends as well. I have seen it happened. Also she doesnt like the idea of being in the pic if i try to post us together on her phone. You would not pick a guy to your friend either who is ready to trade bunch of his friendships away for sexual or economical opportunity. Not good at all, my ex was like that. She never said a word and she was gone for atleast half an hour. Visual Novel (WIP) Lustful Spirit Hunt (18+) $3. Yelling at me saying that im getting to invlolved with her wants and that i need to not worry on everything she does and that hes just a friend. My Girlfriends 16. I asked her to meet me and we met that same day and came up eith the same thing that she will stop talking to her as she said she sees a future with me and me with that guy. She told me they enjoyed each others company and took pictures of each other. But it goes to show how differently we react to those kinds of situations. Lewis first told his story back in 2012, on the Channel 4 documentary My Transsexual Summer. And also when she used to go to class I know she was talking with another guy there. Long story short. Currently she is on a week holiday. Just read your message. The worst case scenario is you end up with a dependent, weak, needy woman who eventually leaves you for someone she can trust, someone she has an established connection with, someone she knows wont try and control her life, like one of her male friends. A story chronicling a pure girlfriend and future wifes fall into despair and lust. | People tend to have sex less frequently as they age. Thats just a blind statement to me. Even if there is a risk of any of those options taking place, id rather not be with that women its not like she cant be friends with females, its also not like she cant have male friends. These guys first impression was to hook up with her and in my mind they still do. ok, im typin on this device and its slow and this is 10 percent of the story if that. The logic has changed entirely because you are dealing with whole different generation of women with whole different reasons to marry and without the cultural burden of having to do so to make someone happy for traditional reasons. Also, one last advice I received from my uncle when I was younger. My hubby even talks to him. Girlfriend And when I ask she told o its nothing just just friends who just joking around and what not, but than Im telling her well I understand but I dont understand why yourself are sending pics of your body towards them as well?? When I got this advice (and I was 18) I found it disappointing that my uncle would be so brazen with his advice, given how my gf at the time (my first gf, different girl) was very important to me. Do you think a high-quality womans going to remain independent and strong (two of the qualities Im sure youre attracted to in her) when youre dictating and controlling her free time? It took years to get over her and i have taken advice and support from many people who have had similar experiences, even worse. Pocketing is a situation where the person you're dating avoids introducing you to their family and friends. be nonchalant. I have met girls since that insist on having guy friends and I wont date them, especially if Im told I cant talk to certain people. Emails, texts, voicemails, and explicit selfies should be kept to yourself. . Very prim and proper lady when we met, in public that is, when we first had sex for me it was like Wow! When you first dip your little toe into the complex and confusing world of dating, you might notice something wholely unremarkable: the women you date will have male friends. WebI am a girl with a lot of male friends. My ex is not emotionally mature enough for a serious relationship. In addition to that, there is the risk she is keeping her options open, even if she doesnt consciously realize it that is another risk that the bf has every right to try to prevent. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. If needed Ill explain my thoughts in more details. She soon afterwards she would call me less , she would hangout less, she would offer her me mine time cause she states she is always busy and what got me ore upset is where I would find pictures of her hanging out at a pub with her all makes friends or see all head back and forth late night messages on Facebook and Im here getting none of atttention . She too has said to him how she is unsure of me and other things and thus encouraging to share. This attitude of she wont leave im the best is great but if you mr alpha male had a girl who exchanged phone numbers added a guy on fb and started seeing him unannounced when you were not about you would leave or have words. It all started when my girlfriend started working with people with learning disabilities, I was pleased for her as I could see how much she was enjoying her new role. Thats all it comes down to. If she reaches out to touch your hand while youre talking, offers to fix your hair, or brushes her hand against your arm, she might think of you in a romantic way. Surely you dont mind, right? I have put my foot down with the relationship and put distance expressing quite clearly to her how I feel and in written form so she can digest it all. A lot of men here are making excuses for a womans poor behaviour and their own short comings as a man. There are challenges involved in dating this type of woman; many of the guys she befriends will interpret her kindness and openness as flirtation, and some will not care that she has a boyfriend. Time goes by thing doesnt seem like there were goes now Im start to get a little Paraniod , we made up came agreement that she would tell of anything out for he boundries would occur , and boy did she ever , everyday she would come and tell what have these guys said to her or try to play her or do things that she would stop.